What Self-Care is - and What It Isn't

"Self-care" has certainly become a buzz word in recent years, but what is it, really? True self care means taking care of your whole self in a way that works for you. A balanced you mentally, emotionally, and physically means you can be your best you with family, socially, at work, and even when you're alone.

By Raphailia Michael, MA
 
When asked the question: “Do you take care of yourself?” most of us will answer “yes” — we’d even think, “What kind of question is this? Of course, I care about myself.”
When asked, “In what ways do you take care of yourself?” — well, that’s where the tricky part begins.

What is self-care?
Self-care is any activity that we do deliberately in order to take care of our mental, emotional, and physical health. Although it’s a simple concept in theory, it’s something we very often overlook. Good self-care is key to improved mood and reduced anxiety. It’s also key to a good relationship with oneself and others.

What isn’t self-care?
Knowing what self-care is not might be even more important. It is not something that we force ourselves to do, or something we don’t enjoy doing. As Agnes Wainman explained, self-care is “something that refuels us, rather than takes from us.”

Self-care isn’t a selfish act either. It is not only about considering our needs; it is rather about knowing what we need to do in order to take care of ourselves, being subsequently, able to take care of others as well. That is, if I don’t take enough care of myself, I won’t be in the place to give to my loved ones either.

In a few words, self-care is the key to living a balanced life

Where do you start? Well, there are three golden rules:

• Stick to the basics. Over time you will find your own rhythm and routine. You will be able to implement more and identify more particular forms of self-care that work for you.
• Self-care needs to be something you actively plan, rather than something that just happens. It is an active choice and you must treat it as such. Add certain activities to your calendar, announce your plans to others in order to increase your commitment, and actively look for opportunities to practice self-care.
• What I often emphasize to my clients is that keeping a conscious mind is what counts. In other words if you don’t see something as self-care or don’t do something in order to take care of yourself, it won’t work as such. Be aware of what you do, why you do it, how it feels, and what the outcomes are.

Although self-care means different things to different people, there’s a basic checklist that can be followed by all of us:

• Create a “no” list, with things you know you don’t like or you no longer want to do. Examples might include: Not checking emails at night, not attending gatherings you don’t like, not answering your phone during lunch/dinner.
• Promote a nutritious, healthy diet.
• Get enough sleep. Adults usually need 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
• Exercise. In contrast to what many people think, exercise is as good for our emotional health as it is for our physical health. It increases serotonin levels, leading to improved mood and energy. In line with the self-care conditions, what’s important is that you choose a form of exercise that you like!
• Follow-up with medical care. It is not unusual to put off checkups or visits to the doctor.
• Use relaxation exercises and/or practice meditation. You can do these exercises at any time of the day.
• Spend enough time with your loved ones.
• Do at least one relaxing activity every day, whether it’s taking a walk or spending 30 minutes unwinding.
• Do at least one pleasurable activity every day; from going to the cinema, to cooking or meeting with friends.
• Look for opportunities to laugh!

​Set up a 15-day self-care routine and see how you feel before and after. And never forget: As with everything, self-care takes practice!